Part 6. Marriage, Headship, sexuality and divorce

Marriage, Headship and Divorce

The fact that in the New Testament we find prophetesses and other women involved in Christian ministry shows that women can be involved in Christian ministry. Even the fact that eldership in the New Testament churches was exclusively for men does not mean that having women as elders is forbidden. Again here the overarching philosophy by which we have to live and act even in the church is the Law of Christ. It does not violate the law of Christ to have women as elders in a culture where this is acceptable. However, to impose women elders in a culture where this is a very senstive issue and would bring unnecessary division in the church would be a violation of the Law of Christ.   

The New Testament teaching on headship also needs to be studied from this perspective.  God's word is very clear: The husband is the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the church. It is not culture which determines the roles within the family but these roles are exemplified in Christ Himself and in His relationship with the church. The wife should therefore submit to the husband voluntarily and out of love just as the church submits to Christ voluntarily and out of love.  No amount of arguing, feminist theology or populist gender-war campaigning can change this truth. The truth of God's word has never been a matter of democracy. 

Before we talk more about submission lets stress that the Biblical ideal is equality: Honor God and submit to one-another (Ephesians 5:21). While children are told to honor their parents, implying a respectful obedient attitude of a dependant to his or her caregivers. However, husbands and wives are not told to honor the one-another but told to honor God by submitting to one-another. Submission is not subjugation but is in humility putting the other first.

In most societies, and certainly in the society Paul was addressing from the moment of birth, children are taught to defer to maternal authority. Since the first six years of a human beings life are the most formative years a result males are socialized to defer to the female authority and females are socialized to expect males to defer to them as the 'mother'. Therefore to stress the need for equality in the relationship Paul puts more emphasis on the need for women to submit as well to the husband as for her it would not be as natural to do so as that it would be for the husband. In some other extremely patriarchal societies today the opposite may be true. So in such a case we may have to stress more that husbands also need to submit and that there should be equality in the relationship.

As mentioned above submission is not the same as subjugation: It does not mean that one has to agree with everything the other demands or that one has to do everything our partner tells us to do. Submission of a husband to his wife means that he respects her in her role as the mother in the house and submission of the wife to the husband simply means that she shows respect for the fatherly and priestly leadership role God has entrusted to the man within the family. It does not mean a man is any more valuable or more important than a woman, it simply means that they have been given different roles. This division of roles goes back to Genesis where God puts Adam in charge as a servant-leader under God and provides a wife to support and help him. The wife is to submit to her husband in all things just as the Church is to submit to Christ in all things (Ephesians 5:24).  Now again this is qualified by other New Testament teaching, namely that it is more important to obey God than man. Practically this means that the woman only submits to her husband as long as this agrees with her obedience to God and the Law of Christ. 

Nevertheless the law of love demands that even if a husband is weak, struggling to live up to the biblical ideal, imperfect or even an unbeliever, the woman must seek to please God by trying to win her husband over through kindness, humility and respect for his leadership role.  If the husband is lacking in faith or anything, the wife should not rebel or abandon him or resort to manipulation or nagging, instead she should win him over by humility and positive Christ-likeness (1 Peter 3:1-4).  The (perceived) wrongs or inadequacies of one marriage partner is never an excuse for wrongdoing on the part of the other partner. Two wrongs never make a right, and we are each first and foremost accountable to God for obeying Him. Having said this, being submissive does not mean being a doormat, instead is about having a humble and respectful attitude.  By being humble and respectful to her husband a wife honors and glorifies God.  Humility and respect does not mean that the wife cannot disagree with her husband but the manner in which it is done should glorify God. The headship of the husband does not mean he should not allow his wife to take the lead, but he cannot abscond from his God given responsibility to still protect her (even against herself) and the children. He is still accountable to God to ensure that everything that happens in the family is brought under the headship of Christ and in agreement with His Law.

Believing husbands must put Christ first and seek to emulate Him. The self-understanding of Christ is 'I am gentle and humble of heart' and He adds 'learn from me' (Mt. 11:29; 1 Cor. 10:1).   Therefore, just as Christ is not dictatorial and aggressive in his headship of the church so the husband should not be dictatorial and aggressive in his headship of the family. He should instead emulate the self-giving, self-sacrificing loving nature of Christ (Eph. 5:21-33). A husband should be loving and gentle in the way he deals with his wife, even if she is nagging or rebellious, but without giving in to what is wrong (1 Peter 3:7).  A Christian wife should not abuse a gentle and kind Christ-like husband but equally treat him with gentleness, humility and respect in obedience to Christ.  As many males have learned to defer to maternal authority since childhood it can be very tempting for a woman to keep him in that position and treat him as a big child. However, doing so is not respectful and does not contribute to equality in the relationship. She will do better in being a true helpmate to her husband and help him become the confident Christ-like man and protective father he ought to be. She should not try to control everything as this shows a lack of faith in God and it harms her husband by keeping him small and subdued. So doing she would violate the Law of Christ.   

In several matriarchal/matri-linear societies around the world (now also increasingly in the West) it is common to come across husbands who are only the head of the family in name but not in reality. They are kept under tight control by their wives who use their sexuality as a means to control and manipulate their husbands. This scenario does not live up to the picture of Christ and His church as the ideal example to follow for us to live a happy married life. The wife should truly respect her husband in his God given leadership role out of reverence to Christ.

God's guidelines in the New Testament are an expression of His enormous love for us and they should be followed out of our love for Him and not out of a sense of duty or co-ercion. This does not mean that exceptions are not possible as long as the higher Law of Christ is not violated! Sometimes exceptional circumstances force us to settle for less than the biblical ideal. In fact sometimes love demands it: For example if a husband is incapacitated mentally, psychologically, physically the wife may have to take the lead in the family. Not as something to be followed as an example by everyone but as an exception. However, even in such cases she is to treat the husband respectfully and lovingly and not push him around or use him as a doormat. Other situations may occur during the prolonged absence of a husband, for example if he is away on an oil rig or as part of the crew on a ship. We should not condemn such women as not being submissive or as disobedient to their husbands. They are simply filling the gap in a less than ideal situation.  Nevertheless such a concession should not be used as an excuse for a husband to be negligent or irresponsible and put all or most of the responsibility of his household on the shoulders of his wife. A husband ought to love his wife and love does not do such a thing.

Human Sexuality

In the beginning God created man in his own image, male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27) and he told them to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (Genesis 2:20-25).

It is important to notice that the author of Genesis reminds us that God created humankind male and female and that both are image-bearers of God. By virtue of being both created in God’s image there is an inherent equality in value, importance and purpose. However, equality and value, importance and purpose does not mean equality in the functions and role they are given by God.  It is clear from the Genesis text that although God created all things good, including man, God concluded that in terms of the task God had given to the man, it is not good for him to be alone, he needs help. God then created the woman out of the man so that he had a helper and a companion.  The assistance the man needs from the woman is more than assistance in multiplication, the word ‘help-mate’ implies a lot more than that.  There is the important aspect of companionship and the important aspect of a man leaving his father and mother and clinging to his wife. This implies that the woman has the important task of assisting her husband to become independent from his parents, to learn to stand strong on his own with her help.  

One of the ways a woman helps her husband to leave his father and mother is through the very powerful means of sexual intimacy.  The author of Genesis describes this bond as becoming one flesh. It is a bond which is formed when a husband and wife choose to be exclusively vulnerable and naked before one-another. It suggests the formation of a strong emotional bond, strong enough for a man to leave his parental home.  Recent scientific studies have shown how during sexual activity the body produces bonding-hormones which help us bond to a partner and that sexual activity with different persons actually reduces our ability to bond emotionally.  This is not to say that God cannot heal our damaged bonding capacity but it does explain why in the beginning God created one woman for one man.  So while the Bible does not explicitly forbid polygamy, it does present one husband and one wife as the God created ideal.

We must keep in mind that Gd did not create everything for reasons of productivity but that He also provides everything for our enjoyment (1 Tim. 6:17). This includes our sexuality! A whole book is provided in the Bible which celebrates the beauty of love, romance and sexuality, namely song-of-songs. Therefore Paul reminds those of us who are married to make our bodies available to our spouse, the wife's body belongs to the husband and the husband's body belongs to the wife (1 Cor. 7:3-4). Because our sexuality makes us very vulnerable it is not acceptable for married christians to withold sex from the other, either to punish or manipulate or even for a seemingly good reason, such a thing would be very unloving and also exposes people to temptation (1 Cor. 7:5).  

It therefore also follows that promiscuity and other forms of sexual abuse is out of bounds as it damages our bonding capacity for bonding with our marriage partners.  In the same way unfaithfulness in marriage damages ability to bond.  

Divorce and Sexual trauma

Unfortunately in this fallen world many men and women have been victims of sexual abuse and this has damaged their physical and emotional bonding capacity which affects their ability to maintain healthy relationships.  Those of us who have experienced sexual abuse should not underestimate its impact but seek healing in Christ. With the help of loving and supportive brothers and sisters in Christ we can find deliverance and healing by bringing into the light what was done in darkness. 

Often victims have internalized the evil of the perpetrators and spend a lot of energy trying to keep this evil under control as it is a source of feelings of self-hatred, self-loathing, feeling inadequate, feeling unworthy and so on.  However, if left un-dealt with sooner or later this evil will find a way to express itself in later crisis situations which function as triggers. The suppressed generalized hatred, resentment, aggression and rejection will sooner or later find a scapegoat and often this is someone close to us, someone we actually love.  

Other forms of trauma can have similar effects but early-childhood sexual trauma is perhaps the most devastating in its effect, especially if the perpetrators and by-standers were the very people who were supposed to protect him and her.  The capacity to trust, receive love and affection is often much reduced. 

When someone suddenly divorces his wife or her husband in a situation where there is clearly no adultery or gross neglect, violence or abuse, we should keep the above in mind and avoid communicating condemnation to either of the partners but carefully probe beneath the service. He or she may have walked around with terrible secrets and pain and is simply not (yet) able to be a marriage partner. However, Christ can bring healing if we allow Him access.

The above does not negate biblical teaching on divorce but it should make us cautious not to judge to quickly, let alone accuse, condemn and reject, this is not in agreement with the Law of Christ.
 
Divorce regulations

When Jesus states that one should not divorce his wife unless she has committed adultery (Matt. 5:32) He is addressing a specific issue in Israel which was very hot at the time and subject to lots of debate, namely that one could easily divorce a woman for no reason at all. Jesus, therefore, states that no-one should divorce his wife unless she committed adultery. He did not talk about cases where wives divorce their husbands or cases where both agree to divorce. 

The apostle Paul in applying the law of Christ says that Christians should not divorce but if someone’s unbelieving partner decides to divorce one must not oppose it, but one should not take the initiative to do so (1 Cor. 7:10-16).  If an unbeliever decides to leave then the believer is not bound and free to remarry. I understand believer here as someone who consistently walks in the way of Christ and not just someone who confesses to be a believer but is full of sin, disobedience, un-forgiveness, hate and bitterness. Such a person may have an outward religious appearance of being a believer but his or her actions show that this is not the case. 

Some of the instructions of Paul in 1 Cor. 7 are open to interpretation but it seems that Paul seems to allow also for exceptional situations where even genuine believers may get to a point that they cannot resolve issues between the two of them. These may together decide to separate (have a time out) in order to deal with issues on their own. They should not use this as an opportunity to re-marry but stay separate until ready to reconcile.  

We must also consider as unbelievers those men and women who claim to be believers but by deliberate and consistent disobedience to God’s instructions demonstrate that their faith is not genuine.  This would include men or women who systematically and consistently physically or verbally abuse their partners or their children as well as those who persist in deliberate disobedience to God’s word.  We may also think of those who insist on divorcing their partners for other reasons than adultery or gross abuse. However, we must keep in mind that in some cases deeper issues need to be addressed (abuse/trauma) and we should never be quick to judge or make decisions in these matters. The Bible also considers those who refuse to provide for their relatives in need, and especially for members of their household, as having denied the faith and as worse than unbelievers (1 Tim. 5:8). 

In doubt about such matters we should leave judgment and arbitration to mature leaders in Gods church who have consistently demonstrated that they are full of the Holy Spirit by living  a life of love and compassion for God and their fellow humans. These have the right to judge in accordance with the Law of Christ and forgive, or hold guilty. They may after careful investigation and after repeated attempts to foster repentance and reconciliation decide to hold someone bound and accountable, or to declare someone innocent and free (Matt. 18:15-20).

Among Gods people we may also encounter those who have divorced their partners for the wrong reasons and have later married someone else so that reconciliation with their former partner has become impossible. Such people are not to be excluded from Christian fellowship if they have acknowledged their wrongs and have repented. Divorce as sad and painful as it is for all concerned is not an unforgivable sin! 


Homosexuality

The issue of homosexuality has become a hotly debated issue in most of Western Europe and North America and because we live in a global village it also affects the rest of the world. Just as in every other issue we have discussed so far we must avoid allowing emotions taking the upper hand and look at the issues at hand from the perspective of Christ and His teachings.  To start with I want to make a distinction between homophilia and homosexuality. Etymologically, 'homophile' is derived from two Greek words - 'homo', meaning 'the same', and 'philos', meaning 'friend'.  In the Greek 'eros' is used to signify 'sexual love', so for our discussion homo-philos/homophilia should be taken to signify non-sexual brotherly love between people belonging to the same gender.  In the Bible we find several examples of homophilia, we can think of the close friendship between David and Jonathan or between Jesus and John.  Hetero-philia in contrast refers to non-sexual brotherly love for someone of the opposite gender. The majority of people are both homophiliacs and heterophiliacs, not to be confused with being bi-sexual which refers to someone indulging in both hetero and homosexual acts. Some people have very strong feelings of homophilia and less or no feelings of heterophilia. This can have biological or psychological causes, but may also be culturally conditioned or simply be a matter of choice and personal preference. Studies have shown that homosexuality occurs more where women and men are kept separate as in some repressive cultures or in prisons or in the army. It also is more common in matriarchal societies where the role of the man/father is not clear and males are treated like irresponsible adult children. As Christians, regardless of how strong our feelings may be, we have the responsibility to act in brotherly love towards every human being regardless of sexual orientation..

Homosexuality is a very different issue from homophilia as it refers to sexual or romantic acts or feelings, or thoughts between humans of the same sex. While the Bible nowhere condemns homophilia, it does condemn homosexual acts, both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament. Homosexual acts are a violation of the Law of Christ as from the beginning of the created order it has always been God’s intention that sexuality is something to be enjoyed between a husband and his own wife; and between a woman and her own husband. They are to be united sexually as one-flesh which is meant to be so much more than just mutual physical pleasure and include deep and increasing emotional bonding. A life-enhancing and life-giving union of souls, just as the church is meant to live in life-giving union with Christ.  Scripture therefore teaches it is good for very man to have his own wife and vice versa. Our biological make up also testifies to the intention of our Creator for men and women to be united sexually.  Any sexual act outside the bonds of marriage is in violation of the created order and as such violates the Law of Christ.  Any sexual act outside the bonds of marriage is in fact sexual exploitation of the human body.  Now notice that the Bible does not tell us that homosexual acts are worse than any other sin, or that those who commit such acts are worse sinners than we are.  Such sentiments violate the Law of Christ! Nevertheless the Bible warns us in love that sexual sin violates our bodies and as such the consequences of sexual sin might be worse than with some other sins.  

Part 5. Christ, Church and Israel

Christ and Israel in the Last days

A few contemporary issues are as controversial and divisive as the relationship between Church and Israel.  That is the body of Christ and ethnic and national Israel as those Jews who have put their faith in Christ are part of the body of Christ, the Church of God.  Reflecting on this relationship our theological starting point should not be what any theologian in European church history has written, how good as this may be, but in biblical theology, and in particular the person, ministry and teachings of Christ. 

In the letter to the Hebrews the author states that while in the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom He made the universe (Hebrews 1:1-2).  This statement implies that our first and foremost focus should be on Christ as in these last days God has spoken to us. The words last days also implies that eschatologically speaking the last days have been inaugurated with the coming of Christ. This of course agrees with Peter’s speech in Acts 2:14-41 where he reminds his predominantly Jewish hearers of the prophecy of Joel and explains that the Pentecost event as well as the coming and ministry of Christ, and his death and resurrection and exaltation to ruling on David’s throne (Vs. 30) is all part of the fulfilment of Joel 2:28-32.  The coming of Christ then inaugurated the last days and these last days find their culmination and completion at the second coming of Christ. In the meantime Christ rules on David’s throne, bringing new life to all who put their trust in Him while at the same time actively putting all his enemies under his feet (1 Cor. 15:22-28; Hebrews 1:3-4, 13).

The writer to the Hebrews also states that the Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being (Hebrews 1:3).  We take this to mean that there is no greater revelation of who God is, no more complete explanation of who God is and what He requires, than what we find in the person, ministry and teachings of Christ.  All other revelation, through prophets or apostles as recorded in Scripture or any form of contemporary revelation will therefore be always incomplete and will need to be understood and interpreted from the perfect and complete revelation which we have in Christ.  In terms of hermeneutics Christ, his person, his character, his ministry and his teaching is ‘the hermeneutical key’ by which we should interpret the rest of Scripture. How His own disciples interpreted and applied Christ in their context as reflected in the New Testament writings is thereby great importance and provides us with examples to emulate.  How others at a later stage in church history interpreted and applied Christ in and to their context we consider as of lesser importance although still useful.  In terms of setting the right priorities it is illustrative to consider that Christ told his (all Hebrew/Jewish by ethnic background) disciples that their task now (in these last days) is to make disciples of all nations (ethne – non-Jews), teaching them to obey everything Christ had instructed them (Mt. 28:18-20). 

In Mt. 28:18-20 Christ as the one with all authority in heaven on earth (reigning on David’s throne) is pre-eminent and His teaching is paramount and people from all nations are called to become disciples of Him and His teaching.  The teachings of Christ do not so much constitute another set of religious rules which need to be followed legalistically but rather is a matter of a philosophy of life as summarized in the Great Commandment (Mark 12:29-31) while its praxis is illustrated in the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). It is a philosophy which we can only understand, embrace and put into practice with the help of the Holy Spirit which is given to all those who by faith in Christ have been reconciled to God and have been born again, baptised into a new body, the body Christ (Rom. 3:21-26; 1 Cor. 12:13). 

The body of Christ is the true Church of God and does not consist of visible organizational structures, human made regulations or any other human construct, but consist of both Jew and Gentile, and people of all walks of life, who are in Christ as a result of having put their faith in Him for salvation and having become His disciples (1 Cor. 12:13).  Within this body of Christ there is no distinction any more between Jew and Gentile, male or female, slave or free (Gal. 3:26-29).  This body of Christ is being build into a temple for God’s glory consisting of Jew and Gentile as in Christ the two who were formerly apart are in Christ not only reconciled to God, but also to one-another, taking away the former hostility (Ephesians 2:18-21).  Those who belong to Christ are Abraham’s seed and therefore heirs to the promises of God whether they are Jew or Gentile, slave or free or any other earthly status (Gal. 3:28-29). 

In terms of the Law of Moses, Christ did not abolish the law, not an iota of it during His ministry on earth (Mt. 5:18). He states that its requirements are just and we are not to deviate even from its smallest regulation (Mt. 5:19).  This highlights the truth that nobody except the Christ was ever able to consistently obey the law. Everyone else is a law breaker and therefore the law could not justify anyone (Gal. 2:16). Christ, however, fulfilled all the requirements of the law (Mt. 5:17) and redeemed us from the curse of the law (Gal. 3:13-14) which is upon everyone who does not fully obey the law (Gal. 3:10).  However, by being in Christ, born again into his being part of His body, being clothed with Him we share in his perfection and thus share in His fulfilment of the law.  By fulfilling the requirements of the law Christ did abolish the law in His flesh (Eph. 2:15), not in the sense of rejecting the law but by making us into a new humanity which is no longer under the law of Moses, but now under the law of Christ.  

 By faith we have died with Christ, being baptized into His death (Rom. 6:3-10), therefore the law no longer has authority over us as we have died to the law through the body of Christ (Rom. 7:4). Consequently, we are released from the law so that we may serve in the new way of the Spirit who helps us follow the Law of Christ characterised by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23) and not in the old way of the written code (Rom. 7:6).

From the above perspective both that part of ethnic Israel which has not yet put their faith in Christ, whether they live in national Israel or not, as well as people from all other nations who have not put their faith in Christ should be the focus of our ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:14-21). Compelled by His love we are calling all people to be reconciled to God in Christ and in Christ also becoming reconciled to one-another in one Body.  He is the Good Shepherd of Israel who is bringing his sheep from the other pen who were not of his sheep-pen Israel, but reconciling them in Himself, he makes them one flock under One Shepherd (John 10:14-16; Eph. 2:14-15).

May He help us to faithfully participate with Him in His Mission of reconciliation to the world and not get hindered by divisive quarrels about the law, ethnic identities and speculation about God is involved in the political establishment and the manoeuvres of the nations. 

Part 4. An Ethical Lifestyle

Part 4. An ethical Lifestyle

The true Christian who lives in accordance with the Law of Christ in this world will be the salt of the earth, a living antidote for societal and environmental decay.  We will also be like a light which provides guidance in the darkness so people can find their way to Christ and also can learn to see all things as they really are, that is from God’s perspective. We must always keep in mind that the whole earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it.  We bear a responsibility for all of God’s creation, first and foremost for all humankind, but also for the rest of His creation.  We are to be responsible caretakers of God’s creation and our lifestyle ought to reflect this sense of responsibility for our Father’s property.  The way we live should not reflect the exploitative, polluting, degrading, dehumanizing, selfish and uncaring attitude which can be found among those driven by profit and greed. Our love and gratitude for our heavenly Father should encourage us to avoid wasting resources, polluting our habitats or harm our eco-systems.  Such a thoughtful and responsible lifestyle is part of our reasonable sacrifice to Him.  Godly living in all aspects of life and in all we do is the true meaning of living a life in worship for His Glory.

When it then comes to ethics our concern should not be, ‘how far can we go’, but rather what is the most loving things to do in worship to our heavenly Father and in responsible loving care for our fellow human beings.

Practically this means that in our day to day living, in our households and any other activity we strive to do what is good and pleasing in God’s eyes, what is good for all of his creation and avoid doing things that may be harmful.  We must not only consider the good of our present fellow humans, but also those of future generations. If we use up the bulk of the earth’s resources today because of a lifestyle that does not take the needs of our fellow humans in other parts of the globe into consideration or the needs of our children and future generations then we actually act in an unloving manner which is contrary to the law of Christ.

Doing Business 

This also applies to the way we do business.  As Christians we ought to refrain from doing business in a way which damages God’s creation and makes it a less wholesome place to live for present and future generations. It means that we as we seek to make a profit we keep the needs, hopes and aspirations of other human beings in mind and avoid exploiting them, defrauding them or harming them in any way.  We do not only refer to physical harm but also to psychological harm. It is sad to come across people who confess to follow Christ and yet have no problem totally smearing a competitor’s (or colleagues’) reputation so that the victim suffers psychological harm.  Those who operate on the premise that God helps those who help themselves may find themselves cast out at the final judgement if they helped themselves at the expense of weaker fellow humans.  The charging of high interests on loans as is the case in many developing countries where loan sharks predate on poor people who in desperation turn to them is an ungodly practice in violation of the law of Christ.   The same applies to the selling of goods at an extremely high profit margin so that it is out of reach of the majority of our fellow human beings, this may not be the case where unnecessary luxuries are concerned, but certainly is in the case of life-saving medication.  Everything we do we need to do as unto God, in a manner that Glorifies Him and reflects the character of Christ.  This among other things means the people before profit!

Being Good Employees

If we are employees or work under contract we ought to behave in a manner that glorifies God and makes us a living testimony to the integrity, honesty, goodness and faithfulness of Christ.  A godly employee does not so much seek to please the employer but seeks to please God by working hard, being faithful, by maintaining and promoting good interpersonal relationships and by going the extra mile. Of course most employers will be very pleased.  This does not mean we should allow ourselves to be exploited and abused, after all we must love our fellow humans as much as we love ourselves.  We must balance our interests and what is good for us with what is good for our fellow humans, including our employers, colleagues and business partners. However, in all this we must put God’s interests and His Kingdom first, so in some circumstances we may freely choose to suffer some exploitation and injustice for the sake of the kingdom of God, for example when we realise that in order to reach people in strict Muslim countries we may have to suffer abuse in doing menial jobs in order to save some by our living testimony.   There is nothing wrong with pursuing a career, seeking promotion or a better job, but in all things we must put God first, and in the way we pursue these things adhere to the Law of Christ.

Part 3: Various practical guidelines

Christian rituals, artefacts and practices

When we talk about Christian rituals we mean those organised religious activities which people design, plan and participate in order to give praise to God, express themselves in worship, demonstrate commitment, or seek to remember, celebrate and communicate Christian truth. Some of those rituals may include religious artefacts, such as special clothing or special food items or candles or anything else used in religious ritual.   We believe that no Christian ritual or religious artefact is in itself spiritual or holy, neither does it in itself have any inherent power to impart salvation, healing or other blessings.   However, the message which is communicated by the use of ritual and artefact, may be empowered by the Holy Spirit to bring spiritual enlightenment, transformation or healing in our hearts if its message in accordance with Christ and His explicit teachings. 

The exact form of the ritual, the use of artefacts or not, the use of special dress or not is not the most important and depends on cultural, historical and other preferences.  Of utmost importance is whether the message which we seek to communicate through these forms of visual communication is in agreement with Christ and His teaching.

Baptism and dedication

In Matthew 28:18-20 Christ explicitly commanded His church to make disciples of all nations and baptising them.  Since baptism was an initiation event Christ is basically stating that we need to disciple people to identify with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, rather than with other deities.  This actually refers to the process of conversion and new birth for it is through the Holy Spirit that we are given a new identity as He baptises us into being part of the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:13).  This spiritual reality is of utmost importance and not so much the mode in which we seek to express and communicate publicly the spiritual reality we have experienced.  Unfortunately there has been a lot of controversy about the mode of baptism and often to the point that the law of Christ is violated. Just as the Kingdom of God is not about eating and drinking, it is also not about modes of baptism.  If someone chooses to baptise an infant and in so doing wants to express his or her faith in the presence and the working of the Holy Spirit within the community of faith and also in the life of the infant, then this is done as unto the Lord and we have no right to judge this. If someone else feels that a dedication is a better way of expressing the same faith no one has the right to judge this as it is unto the Lord.  In the same way if someone wants to publicly demonstrate that he or she has decided to commit him or herself to a life of following Christ in faith and obedience in the form of adult baptism, this is done as unto the Lord and no one has the right to judge this.  Someone else may decide to do a public confession of faith in front of a congregation while someone else may choose a totally different way of expressing his or her commitment of Christ.  As long as the message we seek to communicate and the mode in which we do it does not contradict the teachings of Christ it is acceptable.  God looks at the heart and not at the correct form of rituals or outward symbolism.  It is important to keep in mind that no ritual is anything in itself, it is the spiritual reality behind it which is of utmost importance.  If someone’s heart is not right before God the ritual of baptism or any other symbolic act will not save or help him or her.  Just as physical circumcision had no value unless it was accompanied by the circumcision of the heart in faith and obedience similarly the visible baptism of our bodies has no covenant value unless there is the circumcision of the heart by true faith in Christ which by the inner working of the Holy Spirit becomes visible in obedient living.

The Lord’s supper

 
The celebration of the Lord’s supper has been instituted by Christ himself and should therefore be considered mandatory.  However, just as with any ritual or symbolic action that which is communicated is what is important and not so much the form in which it is done.  The Lord’s supper refers to the fact that Christ wants us to remember when we meet as a congregation that he gave his body for us on the cross for our salvation and that his blood was shed for the forgiveness of all our sins.  At the same time it reminds us that in the present we belong together as the body of Christ, bound together by His Spirit in love.  The implication of this is that we ought to relate to each other in the family of believers in a manner which reflect this reality (1 Cor. 11:20-34).  The Lord’s supper also reminds us of the word’s of Jesus at his last supper that he will not drink wine with his disciples again until he will drink the new wine with them in His Father’s kingdom (Mark 14.22-25, Mat. 26:26-30; Luke 22:14-23). These words of Jesus have an eschatological dimension and refer to the time that is coming when God’s Kingdom which has come and has been inaugurated in Christ will be fully realised when the restoration of all things takes place and Heaven and Earth are made as new. 
Celebrating the Lord’s supper is therefore a very meaningful symbolic act, even more so if we explain, stress and obey its implications. The precise format in which we celebrate the Lord’s supper is of far lesser importance.  Some may prefer to celebrate in the form of a love feast as was common in the early Christian Church, others prefer a solemn ritual whereby only a token of food and drink are consumed.  Whatever form we prefer, it is important that we focus on its true meaning. In the same way nature of the food and drink we take is of lesser importance. Some may prefer unleavened bread and real wine while others are satisfied with ordinary bread and diluted juice. Again others may use rice and water and so on.  Again, whatever format we use and whatever substance we use, we should do so as unto the Lord, guided by the Law of Christ, without judging and condemning those who do things differently.  After all, the Kingdom of God is not about eating and drinking!  God who sees the heart will bless those who take part in the lord’s supper in obedience to Christ and His law, but those who take part in the Lord’s supper while violating the law of Christ bring God’s discipline and judgment upon themselves.  To forbid people from partaking in the Lord’s supper as is done in some congregations is tantamount to saying ‘you do not belong to the body of Christ’ and ‘you have no part in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross’. Such a disciplinary measure should not be taken lightly and only be applied to those who after repeated warning have been barred from the fellowship of believers until such a time that they truly repent from their deliberate sinful behaviour.  This is not done as a way of punishment or revenge but as a reminder to the obstinate person that he or she is not in a right relationship with Christ and those who belong to Him, and that they are in need of repentance.

Prayer

Prayer in a Biblical sense is honest communication with God, knowing that He already knows and cares about our needs, hopes, feelings and aspirations.  Prayer should never become an empty ritual but should be an honest expression of what is in our hearts.  God loves us dearly and wants to hear about our joys and gratitude but also our worries, fears, concerns, dreams, hopes, aspirations , plans, questions, confusion, desires and so on.  He always listens and always answers our prayers but sometimes the answer may be wait, not yet or simply no. Formal prayers just because it is tradition do not have any value unless we mean what we pray.  If we do not mean what we pray then we are in fact deceptive and act contrary to the law of Christ.  Prayers for public consumption so that we may appear respectable and spiritual are equally wrong.  Public prayer with the intention to edify and encourage others is good and encouraged in Holy Scripture.   Contrary to what is believed in non-Christian religions and the various magical traditions in the world, prayer does not contain any magical or supernatural power.  The idea that prayer is powerful in itself and that some forms of prayer may be more powerful than others is contrary to Christian belief. Prayer is not powerful in itself and yet even the weakest imperfect semi-ignorant prayer of a small child can have an enormous powerful effect.  It is not the power inherent in the prayer or the various methods and forms of prayer, the power is in the One who answers.  He has all authority in heaven and on earth and when He acts something happens.  We must, however accept that God does not always give us all we want and all we ask for. At times God may answer our prayers with a yes, sometimes with a not yet and sometimes the answer may be no.  At times God may not answer in accordance with our specific wishes and desires but He may answer in accordance with what we really need.  We must never reduce prayer to a manipulation tool with the aim to make God give us what we desire, such an approach is disrespectful and idolatrous as it reduces God to the level a slot-machine and portrays God as different from the Holy and exalted God of Holy Scripture.

Anointing with oil

The anointing of the sick with oil or the anointing of someone who has been set aside for a special task in God’s kingdom is a beautiful symbol which celebrates and communicates the ever present reality of God’s Holy Spirit and the fact that He can work through the believer in order to bring healing in the lives of others or edification or any other gift of love. It is not so much the constitution or amount of oil that is being used but the meaning we attribute to the action of anointing, the latter should be in agreement with the teachings of Christ and we must be all means avoid any magical notions of the oil containing any spiritual power.

General guidelines for other contextual rituals

Miscellaneous rituals and practices

There are many rituals, both official and unofficial found among Christians around the globe which may range from dedicating the uniform of a church official to having oneself literally crucified on a wooden cross.   No matter what form a ritual takes, we must first look at what it seeks to communicate. Is what is communicated in agreement with Holy Scripture and in particular Christ and His teachings? Secondly we must consider whether the method or form we use does not contradict what is explicitly taught in Holy Scripture. Self-mutilation for example is discouraged as is making an image of God.  We must bear in mind that no ritual or religious artefact contains any spiritual power as spiritual power is in God and not in a created item.  We must avoid having a magical view of rituals and artefacts.  Finally, we must remember that the kingdom of God is not a matter of rituals and religious artefacts but about the inner reality of the Holy Spirit, the ever present presence of Christ, God with us. If rituals and artefacts remind us of these spiritual realities they can be helpful but they should never become an end in themselves and should be considered optional rather than mandatory.  These guidelines do not only apply to formal rituals but also to informal rituals as well as partially conditioned behaviour such as falling in trance like states, noisy emotional expressions and other such outward manifestations which are often regarded as evidence of the presence of God even though He is ever present with His people and there is no need for His presence to be reduced to such.  Nevertheless, people may suddenly become aware of the ever present reality of Gods Holy Spirit and respond emotionally in various ways, these emotional expressions may be tolerated but must not be encouraged and should not be allowed to reduce the meeting of Gods people to chaos or distract from what is truly important: Christ and His explicit teachings.

Women in ministry

We live in a world were feminism has brought a necessary corrective to ungodly forms of male domination and oppression of women, particularly domestic violence and rampant sexual abuse of females in society.  At times the prevailing attitudes in the world towards women have also crept into the church leading to oppression, violence and abuse.  At times biblical teaching has been taken out of context to justify such evils.  Nevertheless, the fact that biblical teaching was abused does not mean that it becomes invalid.  Christ and His teachings stress the equality of all human beings before God, in that sense women are equal in value and importance to men.  In the gospels we also find men and women following Christ and active in serving Him.  However, when it came to the choosing of the twelve, Christ chose twelve men.  The early Christian church continued this pattern by sending out Paul and Barnabas and other men into the world as apostles and church planters.  The early Christian churches were all lead by male elders.  While we may misconstrue to this as oppression of women, it does not need to be understood that way.  This pattern goes back to Genesis where God concludes that it is not good for a man to be alone, he needs a helpmate, someone to assist, support, encourage him so that he is able to live his life as God intended.  It is therefore assumed that men in Christian leadership are supported by their wives, which is the reason why Paul stresses that the wives of elders and deacons need to be godly women (1 Tim. 3:11).  The fact that elders in the New Testament churches were all male does not mean that it is then forbidden to have female elders or church leaders.  However, where Scripture is silent we should not be dogmatic and it is up to every church to consider what would be best in their context.  This also applies to women involvement in other ministries including that of preaching and teaching.   

We may recall that New Testament prophecy in continuation of the prophetic tradition of the Old Testament was first and foremost a matter of forth-telling, the proclamation of Gods truth. It is a form of teaching. In the New Testament we therefore read that the testimony of Christ is the spirit of prophecy.  It is the proclamation of Christ and His teaching and their application in day to day life that is at the heart of New Testament prophecy.  Paul, therefore, states in 1 Cor. 14:1 ‘strive to prophecy’, and repeats this again in verses 5, 19 and 24.  Finally he concludes his treatise on prophecy by stating in verses 29-33 that this proclamation should be done orderly and also should not be dominated by one person as in fact everyone can prophecy.  So far Paul does not exclude any women, in fact in verse 31 he refers to ‘all’ rather than to men only. It is in the verses 34 to 35 where Paul states that wives should be silent and if they have any questions they should ask their husbands when they get home.  We must understand the women being silent together with them asking questions in church.  A church meeting is not the best place for getting into discussions and arguments.  Since the husband is the head of the family it is not right for his wife to undermine him publicly by asking questions which she could have asked him and if he did not know the answer he could have asked the elders.  That Paul was not against women in ministry in general and allowed women to preach and teach can be deduced from his favourable attitude towards Priscilla (Prisca) who was involved in teaching  together with her husband apart from hosting a church assembly in their home (Acts. 18:26, Rom. 16:3, 1 Cor. 16:19).  We may also consider that the apostle Junia in Romans 16:7 may very well have been a woman.  We can also think of Euodia and Syntyche who had worked with Paul for the Gospel (Phil. 4:2-3).   

Headship

The fact that women were and can be involved in Christian ministry does not change clear New Testament teaching on headship.  The husband is the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the church. The wife should submit to the husband voluntarily and out of love just as the church submits to Christ voluntarily and out of love.  Just as Christ is not dictatorial and aggressive in his headship of the church so the husband should not be dictatorial and aggressive in his headship of the family but instead emulate the self-giving, self-sacrificing loving nature of Christ (Eph. 5:21-33).